I have advocated for mental health, and my main focus is depression. However, due to a recent incident at a family gathering a week ago, I have decided to look more closely into this particular mental health state – autism.
The Unforgettable Family Reunion
It was a fun evening, and everyone enjoyed each other’s company. My family was having the best night of their lives as we celebrated my mom’s 84th birthday. My brothers and sisters were there with their husbands, wives, and kids. The adults were busy talking and drinking while the kids had fun playing and giggling.
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Suddenly, the party stopped when my older brother’s eldest son pushed my younger sister’s daughter. He was seven while she was 4. Everyone was stunned as a little girl bumped into one of the huge pots near the landscaped fountain. When she got up, her head was bleeding a lot.
The poor little girl must have felt the pain as she screamed and burst into tears.
Interestingly, my nephew did not seem bothered at all. He was standing there and staring at my niece while she screamed and cried. My younger sister rushed to her daughter and wiped some blood with her blouse. She said nothing, but her face told us a different reaction. She was scared for her little girl. I admire her for staying calm that time, actually.
My older brother went up to her and handed her a tissue. My sister thanked him and continued to clean the blood on my niece’s face. My brother’s wife went to get my nephew while my sister’s husband carried my niece. My other brother suggested they go to the nearest hospital to better check up on the wound in the little girl’s head.
My nephew, who was standing in front of both families at that time, started to giggle. I thought, “What on earth did the kid just do?” It was as if he was provoking the adults.
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The Truth About Tommy
My sister-in-law was starting to panic. She hugged my nephew so tightly. Surprisingly, the boy laughs embarrassingly. That is where all my confusion and disbelief went up in my head. I told my brother to handle his son properly as the kid seemed to like hurting others. I thought, why is the boy enjoying the pain and seeming to be having fun while adults around are worried and distressed?
That’s when he told me that his son Tommy was autistic.
I was stunned because I never really thought that mental illnesses run in our family. I asked my brother how did he know and what had happened. His wife then butted in and told me she experienced a complication while pregnant with my nephew. She didn’t expect it would cause her son’s mental health problems. They didn’t know Tommy was autistic not until a week before our mom’s birthday when he got diagnosed with the condition.
I felt sad for the parents, both my brother, and sister. The situation must have been so hard for them. Instead of us continuing the celebration, my younger sister’s family was at the hospital trying to comfort their little girl while having stitches. My older brother was dealing with his son helping him to calm down as the boy was about to have an emotional outburst.
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The Confrontation
I volunteered to take my brother to the hospital to see my niece so he could also talk to our sister. When we arrived there, my brother apologized for his son’s behavior. He was apologetic and even offered to pay for his niece’s hospital bills. Fortunately, my sister was calm and reassured my older brother that everything was okay. My brother was relieved to know that she understood the situation.
I went to my sister and asked her. How come you didn’t react violently when in front of you was your child bleeding in the face? My sister just nodded and smiled at me. I asked her if she knew Tommy was autistic, and she said no. She explained that she just knew about it a while ago when our brother told her about his son’s condition.
However, she said that if it weren’t for Tommy being her nephew, the reaction would have been different. She might have scolded or hit him or tended to fight with our brother. But then she said the good thing about the incident is she realized that as a parent, seeing her kid get hurt does not give her the right to judge the other kid immediately.
I could never be proud enough of my siblings.
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Insights And Takeaway
Just like handling spouse with autism, adults/parents must hold onto their patience and learn about the other kid’s condition first. Like Tommy, it is not his fault. He was autistic, and he needed a better understanding. The boy needs everyone’s patience as he is also trying to figure out his mental illness.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all like my younger sister, who does not react out of the spur of the moment? Or be like my apologetic brother who tries his best to understand his kid’s needs? If you, or you know someone who is suffering from autism disorders, you may refer them to talk with a licensed professional for they can provide proper treatments for autism.